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Draining your energy obsessing over an EX?

Are you still obsessing over an ex- and finding yourself spending way too many hours running over conversations, chasing them, thinking about what you could have said, stalking them...

You may think this obsessive thinking is because you love them so much.

You my love, have likely struck a core attachment wound (abandonment)

and your ex, is activating it for you to do the work for healing and to fill up your

self love and self worth.

I've been there and still today I can occasionally get caught in this cycle.

Obsessive thinking is a HUGE energy drain.

That sense of great loss and regret are often seen as imbalances in the Lung MERIDIANS (grief/shame/blame) and stuck energy in the CHAKRAS-

Base (ungrounded tribe/family/security)

Heart (Self love, compassion)

Solar plexus (power centre/ worth)

It can also create a behaviours that might have us acting in unhealthy people pleasing patterns. Because our sense of worth is tied into another giving us the love and self acceptance we crave and didn't receive from our care giver as a child.

It's giving out of need. Giving to receive some sense of us existing.

The shadow state of giving is known as 'wounded giving'.

And it usually comes from the need to offer OURSELVES far more self love.

Here are some steps to bring you back into balance:


Recognise that your obsessive thinking is indicative that you are hurting and out of balance


Acknowledge it and offer it compassion

"I'm out of balance and obsessing over this person right now, I'm worthy of the love I seek, first I need to ensure I give it to myself"


We can ask ourselves:

Who in our past let us down?

What was I needing that I didn't receive as a child?

What is my heart needing?

What would my highest self tell me in this moment?


Where do I feel this in my body?

Sometimes this can not be accessed easily through the mind alone and by yourself.

We can do the work more easily through Somatic practices and breath-work.

We can offer gratitude for the love and the lesson's we received from this person and take that abundantly into our centre and let them go... ( see my blog link about letting go...)

I'm here to support you:

Along with Kinesiology, I offer Somatic based Counselling and Sexual Empowerment and Intimacy Coaching to people.

Clearing the pathways of low self worth, self acceptance and self love, opens us to so much more pleasure and confidence.

It supports us to heal, so that we can find healthy partners because we have done the work to make ourselves healthier and more resilient and robust.

The heart is such an access point to pleasure.

Healing the heart, heals the mind.

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