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Is foreplay sex? HANG ON! IT IS SEX!

Here”s 2 important questions worth contemplating:

What is Se.x ? What’s your role in it?

Recently someone reflected back to me “oh so you like foreplay?” I’m like ahhh and well what do you think Sex is? If it ain't foreplay, then what do you expect me to receive?

When we pigeon hole Sex into the narrow field of Penis in Vagina or an act of penetration, we absolutely narrow the incredible wide expanse of what our intimacy can be.

And we may miss the freakin magic and diversity of sex and exploration. We devalue the many awesome things that sex is and what our bodies and erotic identity can conjure up. When we limit sex to penetration, we ultimately limit what we receive and what we give.


When we don’t value “ foreplay” as sex, we limit these factors:

- enjoyment

- growth

-orgasmic potential


-opportunity to really feel



-going to our edges


-melt into bliss


-diversity of experiences

-awakening new places in our bodies that feel good

-share something magical

- longer sex play

-honouring what feels enough to give or receive

-building Eros

- building arousal

“Foreplay” traditionally involved the things that are thought to lead to “s.ex”.

But. Here is the thing, as a Sex and Intimacy Therapist, I'm here to shift your thinking and to tell you that they are sex💥

When we recognise that sex is a huge umbrella of so many intimate things that we can do with our minds, our bodies, with touch, toys and more, we then open to the vastness of our bodies, our erotic psyche and THE MOMENT.

And the MOMENT can hold incredible magic and potency in it. People coming together, deeply present and in their hearts offer a potent download for each-other.

“Foreplay” is a word that presupposes a trajectory towards a final act , where the destination is a conscious or unconscious end point.

However, when we change our belief that sex is foreplay- foreplay is sex, we can be deeply satisfied with something happening.


  • bring your full attention to your senses.

  • bring your full attention to pleasure that you are noticing

  • slow down and savour the moment

  • switch your mind into allow yourself to absorb as much as you can from what is occuring, bringing curiousity to how you feel emotionally, physically.

  • Think a little selfishly, what would you like to explore with this person that would be interesting i.e perhaps you want to smell them, or watch them masturbate.

  • Ask for what you want.

Sex is an UNFOLDING of people & ourselves. If you are having trouble connecting to pleasure, feeling safe or struggle to know how to communicate what you want. Sex Therapy and Relationship Coaching can help. I am based on the Surf Coast, near Geelong.

Broadening your beliefs and thinking to make foreplay sex, means both people can haave far more satisfying orgasms, connection and pleasure


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